There's a Hair in my Soup

I was going to wear the wig, honest. I had every intention of wearing the wig. It was a cute wig. It was a short style in a sort of neutral color and a little reminiscent of Doris Day. Why would I pick a wig like that? My hair was short and stick straight and practically maintenance free. Why did I think bald was going to be bad enough to subject myself to what amounted to a fuzzy fur cap? Obviously chemo clouds your judgement.
Fourteen days after starting Taxol my hair was coming out. The stories I'd heard about it washing down the drain in the shower and falling into my food were true. I went to my hairdresser and she cut it VERY short. I wasn't ready to let go. Then I was shedding worse than the cat and I had to just do it. Debbie and I went to the back porch with scissors and a razor and she shaved my head bald. WOW! But I was ready. I had my wig.
We tried so hard to make it be okay but I looked like a baby bird. I have an absurd sense of humor and I can laugh at myself but this was a stretch even for me. I had to put on that stupid wig and go out in public! I was kicking myself for buying something so conservative. I should have gone to a costume store and bought ridiculous wigs of purple or lime green fiber optics. I wouldn't have felt any more self-conscious. But, alas, I was a public school librarian and society has its expectations so I donned my unremarkable wig and went to school.
The faculty and the kids were great. I hate feeling like the elehant in the room so when it was appropriate I initiated conversation about my new hairdo. People often hesitate to bring up the obvious because our mothers taught us to be polite and not stare. This might work for some people but I hate it. It is what it is, so say it.
Spring comes early in Arkansas and it's warm and humid. Wigs are hot and itchy. I hate to be uncomfortable. That equation decided my next move. I had already started pulling it off in the car on the way home so I just needed to take the next step. On a warm afternoon after school I just did it. Standing in the office, visiting with good friends before going home, I just yanked the damn thing off. We were all surprised. It was a spontaneous move and I couldn't take it back. There I stood, bald and vulnerable. In just a second we were laughing and I received the validation I needed to throw the wig in a drawer forever.