Palate Gossip

I had 2 tumors removed from my soft palate in 2002. This operation left me with a hole in the roof of my mouth about the size of a dime. If you know any anatomy you know that a hole in your palate allows food and liquid to squirt or dribble out of your nose. This is great fun if you're in the 7th grade but it's pretty distressing if you're over 50. Besides that, it makes you talk funny. If you've ever tried to talk to a person with a cleft palate you'll know what I sounded like. My friends who taught special ed were the ones who understood me the best.
I was fitted with an expensive piece of acrylic that had 2 tiny wires on each side that fit into the roof of my mouth like a retainer. To get to another tumor during the same operation Dr. Suen had to break my jaw so getting my mouth open wide enough to insert this monstrosity created another problem. I love to talk and eat and both endeavors were seriously compromised.
Even though the obdurator (fancy word for chunk of acrylic) was fitted to my mouth there is no way something like that can replace your natural plate. It was never tight enough or level or comfortable. I spent hours fiddling with it and that wasn't smart. I kept a small arsenal of tools to monkey around with the wires. I started with needle nose pliers but the wires were tiny and that was overkill. Then I hit on the perfect tool...hemostats! The wires had to curve around my teeth just right to hold the obdurator tight against the roof of my mouth. More than once I broke a wire off and had to have it repaired.
I tried using denture adhesive but I got a quick anatomy lesson. If you think snotty sinuses are a problem try blowing out Polident! Then one day during an adjustment session the dental tech told me to try Sea-Bond. This is a denture adhesive that comes in the shape of dentures. For the next couple of years I kept this company solvent. I became an expert at trimming those little sheets to a perfect fit. I had to change it almost every time I ate but it really improved my drinking, as long as I was in an upright position. Nothing helped if I drank from a bent over position, like at a water fountain. I learned that at the county courthouse during jury duty when I bent over to get a drink and every drop shot out my nose. I learned to look for a cup.
Before I left the house I had someone listen to me and tell me if my speech was understandable. If no one else was home I used the answering machine. I called my house from my cell and left myself a message. If I could understand the message I left the house. If the sound was muffled or hard to understand I went back to the bathroom for fine tuning. I carried Sea-Bond, hemostats and scissors all the time. Security took my little blunt nose scissors away from me at an airport one time but I made a case for the hemostats and was allowed to board. I had precut some sheets to carry with me but I was in a virtual panic until I landed and bought another pair of scissors. Without the obdurator I could not do the three things we humans depend on the most: communicate, eat, or drink. My world revolved around it.