Tiptoe Through the Tulips

I wish I'd paid more attention to my science classes in school. If I had, I wouldn't have let both of the obese guests sit on the backseat together. Somehow, one of them would have had to squeeze in up front with me. But we all know about hind sight.

It's tulip time at the Garden and we had a steady stream of visitors Saturday morning in spite of the sporadic rain showers. The rain had knocked off many of the tulip blossoms and parts of the path were muddy. Volunteer cart drivers were instructed to run an alternate path to avoid the long brick hill that is slippery when it's wet. I ride my brakes down this hill on a dry, sunny day so I was glad to skip it. There are only two other inclines and I've never had trouble going up either, even when the ground is damp, until Saturday.

Physics being what it is you can imagine what happened when I started up the hill with all the weight in the back of the cart. Granted, my passengers were very large but I had driven this route dozens of times with heavy guests with no problems. This time proved to be the exception. As I started up the hill both front wheels raised off the ground and we began to slip sideways and backwards. I put both feet on the brake. I felt the cart not only slide, but start to tip. Maybe a little louder than necessary I declared, "We've got a big problem!" This was a gross understatement given the circumstances. In the nick of time, the couple scrambled off the cart. The wheels fell back to the ground and the cart stopped sliding. Embarrassed, we took a few seconds to consider the gravity of our situation, pun intended. We assured one another that all were safe and I drove several yards up the hill while the riders walked. It was hard for them. If they'd been able to walk they wouldn't have been riding. When they reached me they climbed back onto the backseat and we continued our ride. I knew the rest of the path was level so I didn't see any reason to redistribute the weight at that point.

Finally, we looped back around to the visitor center. We politely bid one another good-bye. They went one way and I went another. None of us commented on our close call. I watched them lumber away, thinking how bear like they walked, how uncomfortable they looked.

Next time I see fat people paying for a cart ride, I'm heading for the bathroom.