I'm not a naturally thoughtful or nurturing person. I don't mean I'm thoughtless. I just mean I'm not one of those women who send cards or take casseroles to friends in distress. I might buy the cards of solace or encouragement, I might even buy the ingredients for the casserole, but I lack follow through. I have tried on countless occasions to correct this behavior but improvement is always short lived. I just don't have it.
Over the years I have received countless numbers of these thoughtful gestures. I receive cards on a regular basis from Paige, who just wants me to know I'm in her thoughts. I get phone calls from Caroline and Dottie to say they are thinking about me. My Mom sends notes to people to offer consolation or praise. Barbara Moore shows up with food at the drop of a hat. How are they different from me?
I've concluded that I'm emotionally wired more like a man than a woman. It's not that I don't think about other people, I do. I'm just not good at expressing it. I'm a little self-conscious about approaching people in distress. I say I don't want to intrude but that's lame. I'm just not good at it. I have other talents, I'm not hopeless, but I'll never be the lady on the step with the meat tray or the chicken noodle casserole for the post funeral luncheon. That's just not who I am.
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