47 years ago today my mom gave me the coolest present; a baby brother! I was in Mrs. Meyer's 4th grade class at Maplewood elementary school. Mom and Dad named him Michael but I chopped that off to "Mikey" in a flash. The timing was perfect for me but I think it must have sucked for Mom and Dad. Buddy was in college, Neanne was in nurse's training, I was 10, David was 6, and Dad was being transferred to a place called Arkansas. Oh yeah, and my parents were 42 years old. That's not such a big deal now but it sure was in 1960.
Our family was friends with a family who had a daughter with Down's Syndrome and I think Mom was worried that Mike would be affected with this form of mental retardation. There wasn't a test to check for it so we rode it out, excited and worried and full of hope. Mom tried to prepare us for what could be ahead but I was just excited about getting a baby.
The day Mikey was born the Good Year blimp landed in the airfield behind our house. What an omen! Our baby was perfect! Mrs. Meyers let me stand up in class and tell all about him.
I don't remember all the particulars now but I really did love that baby. I probably made a pest of myself, trying to help out and feeling grown up.
Of course, Buddy and Neanne's friends were at the house all the time, passing Mike around and acting silly over him. Mike has been a people person from day one but who's to say if it's his personality or a defense mechanism he learned as an infant. Whichever, it works. He has a ready laugh and an easy manner. That's not to say he's a pushover. Far from it. He's the caboose on a highly opinionated and motivated freight train of siblings and if he hadn't had the strength to hold on he might have been left behind. After all, 20 years separates the oldest from the youngest.
I don't know when he went from a tow headed baby in a striped life jacket to the man who manages transportation for the Arkansas Department of Education. Growing up, he entertained me more than any of my toys. I was always terrified that something horrible would happen to him. The day he turned 16 I cried when he drove out of the driveway, convinced I'd seen the last of him. I was 26! Mom told me to get a grip. She'd live through it 5 times already.
And, as usual, Mom was right. Here we all are, able to fight another day.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Have phone will travel
I resent being subjected to private phone conversations in public places. I know I'm not alone in my opinion. Cell phones are an incredible convenience and I love mine as much as the next guy but I try not to let it dominate my life. If my phone rings when I'm at Kroger I ignore it. When I get outside I'll check the caller ID and, depending on who called, I'll return the call when I'm not in a public place. Remember when you didn't know you'd had a phone call until you got home? Remember a time before answering machines when you didn't know you'd had a call while you were out until that person called back? I don't want to make a shift backwards, I just want some sort of cell phone protocol or etiquette to be established.
I have heard the stupidest and most meaningless conversations in Wal-Mart. If you want to visit, bring your friend to the store with you. Don't stand in the check-out line discussing the results of your colonoscopy with a person invisible to the rest of us.
The rudest behavior is exhibited by those who wear those blue tooth things in their ears. They walk the aisles, their hands free, shopping and talking. Until you see the little blue light blinking in their ear you think they're lunatics or schizophrenics, listening to the voices in their heads. What can't wait until you're in your car or outside? If your colonscopy shows signs of disease, I'm sorry. I can be sympathetic but I don't want to hear the gory details or the fear in your voice. I have plenty of that without worrying about you. If the call alerts you of an emergency, hang up and go. You probably don't have time to finish your errands anyway.
As the technology has developed most of us have agreed on certain places where cell phone use is prohibited. We turn our phones off in church services, movie theaters, and business meetings. My county library doesn't allow phone conversations inside but it's more the exception than the rule. It shouldn't even be up for discussion but it's a hot topic in the library world. You wouldn't think of having a loud conversation with an individual so what makes a phone conversation okay? After I had retired from my post as a branch library manager in another county, two men threatened one another with guns over a cell phone conversation. The men were sitting side by side at the public computers when one of them got a call. The one man asked the phone talker to hang up or take it outside and the fight was on. The library staff had to call 911 because the men left the building shouting at one another and making violent threats. The police came and the report was made but the men weren't found. I didn't read anywhere about a library shoot out but they could have taken the fight somewhere else. This example of "phone rage" might be extreme but it's real.
The solution is simple really. Use some common sense and be courteous. You aren't invisible or sound free so don't act like you're the only human on the planet. Regardless of the commercials, none of us are so important that we require constant connection to our "networks."
I have heard the stupidest and most meaningless conversations in Wal-Mart. If you want to visit, bring your friend to the store with you. Don't stand in the check-out line discussing the results of your colonoscopy with a person invisible to the rest of us.
The rudest behavior is exhibited by those who wear those blue tooth things in their ears. They walk the aisles, their hands free, shopping and talking. Until you see the little blue light blinking in their ear you think they're lunatics or schizophrenics, listening to the voices in their heads. What can't wait until you're in your car or outside? If your colonscopy shows signs of disease, I'm sorry. I can be sympathetic but I don't want to hear the gory details or the fear in your voice. I have plenty of that without worrying about you. If the call alerts you of an emergency, hang up and go. You probably don't have time to finish your errands anyway.
As the technology has developed most of us have agreed on certain places where cell phone use is prohibited. We turn our phones off in church services, movie theaters, and business meetings. My county library doesn't allow phone conversations inside but it's more the exception than the rule. It shouldn't even be up for discussion but it's a hot topic in the library world. You wouldn't think of having a loud conversation with an individual so what makes a phone conversation okay? After I had retired from my post as a branch library manager in another county, two men threatened one another with guns over a cell phone conversation. The men were sitting side by side at the public computers when one of them got a call. The one man asked the phone talker to hang up or take it outside and the fight was on. The library staff had to call 911 because the men left the building shouting at one another and making violent threats. The police came and the report was made but the men weren't found. I didn't read anywhere about a library shoot out but they could have taken the fight somewhere else. This example of "phone rage" might be extreme but it's real.
The solution is simple really. Use some common sense and be courteous. You aren't invisible or sound free so don't act like you're the only human on the planet. Regardless of the commercials, none of us are so important that we require constant connection to our "networks."
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Reconditioned
I think I have finally adjusted to unemployment. It took me long enough. But I have to remember that not only did I work, my job was set in a rigid environment. The school day is divided into sections of an hour or 90 minutes. Teachers and kids are conditioned to move at the sound of a nerve shattering bell no less than 12 times a day. Do that for 28 years and you might have trouble free falling through a day too.
I no longer scurry around, keeping myself properly occupied. That's evident by the number of kitty nose prints on my glass storm door and the coffee stains around my chair on the porch. The one constant in my week is the time I volunteer at Garvan Gardens. Otherwise, I am protective of my time. I don't make "set in stone" obligations and don't really like to make plans too far in advance.
Last winter was dreary and I was restless. I was ready to pack it in, ready to move to a bigger place, ready to look for a job. I'll be interested to see if my new skills can get me through the cold weather. My porch is my refuge but the cold drives me inside. Whatever winter brings, I'll be better equipped to deal with it this year.
I no longer scurry around, keeping myself properly occupied. That's evident by the number of kitty nose prints on my glass storm door and the coffee stains around my chair on the porch. The one constant in my week is the time I volunteer at Garvan Gardens. Otherwise, I am protective of my time. I don't make "set in stone" obligations and don't really like to make plans too far in advance.
Last winter was dreary and I was restless. I was ready to pack it in, ready to move to a bigger place, ready to look for a job. I'll be interested to see if my new skills can get me through the cold weather. My porch is my refuge but the cold drives me inside. Whatever winter brings, I'll be better equipped to deal with it this year.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Have book will travel
My name is Barbara and I'm addicted to audio books. I don't leave home without at least one. I often tuck in a second just in case I've miscalculated my time frame or find myself trapped in heavy traffic. If I'm out and about, listening to my book, I panic when the reader says,"We hope you've enjoyed Listening Libraries' audio book, King Con, written and read by Stephen J. Cannell." I barely pop the last CD out of the player when I'm scrambling to insert disk 1 of a new novel into the slot. I'm a "chain listener!" The last book isn't even cold when I'm starting the next one.
I started seriously taking advantage of audio books when I was taking chemo. My hospital stay lasted several days and happened every other week. Chemo wears you out. It's a tiredness that starts somewhere deep inside and permeates through your entire body. Reading has always been my escape from the real world and chemo is as real as it gets. I just didn't have the stamina or concentration skills necessary to hold and read a book. But, audio books gave me exactly what I needed to distract me and deliver me from mind numbing boredom. I could put a disk in a portable CD player, hook up with headphones, and get lost in a story.
Now, years later, my audio books are my constant companions. I never leave home without one. I check them out of the local library most of the time but sometimes I'll buy one if I'm particularly impressed with it. I own 3 of the Harry Potter books on Cd and my goal is to buy all 7. They're pretty expensive so I don't buy them at once. Jim Dale, a British actor, is the reader on each book and he's captivating. Every character has a quality that makes him unique so you can follow conversations between characters without any confusion as to who is saying what and to whom.
I can listen to a book and do just about anything I want to do. I hate cleaning house but I can insert a good mystery into my CD player, put in my ear buds, and whisk through our little place in no time flat. When I get a wild hair to walk for exercise I do the same thing. I can cover a lot of territory while I'm being entertained by any one of my favorite authors. I used to carry my CD player in a cheap fanny pack around my waist but I've discovered that a certain style of Columbia shorts has the perfect pockets for a CD player. Now I just pack the player in a pocket and I'm good to go. From cleaning the bathroom to making a long drive, I'm never without a good book.
I started seriously taking advantage of audio books when I was taking chemo. My hospital stay lasted several days and happened every other week. Chemo wears you out. It's a tiredness that starts somewhere deep inside and permeates through your entire body. Reading has always been my escape from the real world and chemo is as real as it gets. I just didn't have the stamina or concentration skills necessary to hold and read a book. But, audio books gave me exactly what I needed to distract me and deliver me from mind numbing boredom. I could put a disk in a portable CD player, hook up with headphones, and get lost in a story.
Now, years later, my audio books are my constant companions. I never leave home without one. I check them out of the local library most of the time but sometimes I'll buy one if I'm particularly impressed with it. I own 3 of the Harry Potter books on Cd and my goal is to buy all 7. They're pretty expensive so I don't buy them at once. Jim Dale, a British actor, is the reader on each book and he's captivating. Every character has a quality that makes him unique so you can follow conversations between characters without any confusion as to who is saying what and to whom.
I can listen to a book and do just about anything I want to do. I hate cleaning house but I can insert a good mystery into my CD player, put in my ear buds, and whisk through our little place in no time flat. When I get a wild hair to walk for exercise I do the same thing. I can cover a lot of territory while I'm being entertained by any one of my favorite authors. I used to carry my CD player in a cheap fanny pack around my waist but I've discovered that a certain style of Columbia shorts has the perfect pockets for a CD player. Now I just pack the player in a pocket and I'm good to go. From cleaning the bathroom to making a long drive, I'm never without a good book.
Monday, September 10, 2007
A Gathering
On September 1st my parents celebrated their 68th wedding anniversary. This, in and of itself, is a remarkable feat. Add to that the fact that all five of their children, all eight grandchildren, and both great-grandchildren are alive and healthy. Everyone who is old enough to work is employed. Two of us are retired and another one of us will be soon. No one is in jail or suffering from an addiction. We speak to one another regularly. On top of all that, I think we're all pretty cute and I know we're all funny.
Saturday we all gathered at my youngest brother's home to celebrate Mom and Dad and each other. My sister-in-law can entertain our mob at the drop of a hat. Their house is the most centrally located and has the biggest kitchen. We're a "kitchen" family. I didn't inherit the gene that allows me to work in a kitchen with people surrounding me so I'm in awe of anyone who can prepare a meal for our large group and participate in the conversation while stepping around guests who are underfoot and munching on chips and salsa (home-made). This particular sister-in-law, Susie, has been part of our family since she started dating my brother, Mike, when she was 14 or 15 years old and opens her home to us anytime we feel the need to gather.
My family doesn't say a blessing over these feasts but one or two of us will speak from the heart about what we mean to one another. It's usually Buddy because he's oldest and he's not overly sentimental. We can reflect on our good fortune and give thanks for our bounty without crying.
This year I appointed myself as speaker. Because of my tendency to get nervous and ramble I wrote down what I wanted to tell my family and read it aloud as we stood, shoulder to shoulder, in Susie's kitchen. I have included this open letter to my parents and brothers and sister in this post.
Being retired, I have lots of time to think and what I think about most is us, this family. We’re unique is many ways but we have three distinctions that stand out to me.
1. We are all alive and functioning, some better than others, but without assistance.
2. We mostly like each other.
3. We are in contact with one another on a fairly regular basis.
Watch the news, read the papers, talk to friends. We are the exception to the rule if we believe these reports. It doesn’t take a genius to see how blessed we are.
Even when we aggravate one another (that’s our right as siblings), we have a bottom line. We love one anther. It’s unconditional. We’re stuck together with gorilla glue and there’s no escape. None of you could commit an act so heinous that I would quit loving you. I asked Mom, one time, if she’d love me if I killed somebody. Her answer was an emphatic, “Of course I would, but I’d be mad as hell you’d done something that stupid!” That’s unconditional in a nutshell.
I try not to take this gift for granted. All of you have been there for me. I’ve never faced adversity without backup. We’re a well rehearsed ensemble troupe. We all have roles to play in our “life drama” and all of us step up to perform our parts without doubt or hesitation. In 1984, after the removal of my first tumor, Mom and Dad and Neanne, and I were getting into the elevator at the Medical Tower building. We were on our way to Dr. Kyser’s office to hear what my treatment would be. Just as we started to step in, Buddy came through the door and announced, “Circle the wagons! I see Indians!” Can it be any plainer than that? I have thousands of examples and anecdotes that illustrate this reaction to a threat of danger. Our solidarity as a family is our legacy and that legacy is a gift from Mom and Dad. Our unity is no accident. They modeled a lifestyle that didn’t allow anger or negativity to fester. That’s not to say that we have lived a life of “goodness and light” 100% of the time. No one can do that, it’s unrealistic. Instead, when strife reared its ugly head, we dealt with it. No one can hash, rehash, and analyze a topic like a Simmons kid. Mom and Dad allowed for individual differences in each of us, even when we bewildered them with some of our decisions. And somehow, they were able to meld us into a formidable and unshakable union. Good, bad, or indifferent, our circle remains unbroken.
Saturday we all gathered at my youngest brother's home to celebrate Mom and Dad and each other. My sister-in-law can entertain our mob at the drop of a hat. Their house is the most centrally located and has the biggest kitchen. We're a "kitchen" family. I didn't inherit the gene that allows me to work in a kitchen with people surrounding me so I'm in awe of anyone who can prepare a meal for our large group and participate in the conversation while stepping around guests who are underfoot and munching on chips and salsa (home-made). This particular sister-in-law, Susie, has been part of our family since she started dating my brother, Mike, when she was 14 or 15 years old and opens her home to us anytime we feel the need to gather.
My family doesn't say a blessing over these feasts but one or two of us will speak from the heart about what we mean to one another. It's usually Buddy because he's oldest and he's not overly sentimental. We can reflect on our good fortune and give thanks for our bounty without crying.
This year I appointed myself as speaker. Because of my tendency to get nervous and ramble I wrote down what I wanted to tell my family and read it aloud as we stood, shoulder to shoulder, in Susie's kitchen. I have included this open letter to my parents and brothers and sister in this post.
Being retired, I have lots of time to think and what I think about most is us, this family. We’re unique is many ways but we have three distinctions that stand out to me.
1. We are all alive and functioning, some better than others, but without assistance.
2. We mostly like each other.
3. We are in contact with one another on a fairly regular basis.
Watch the news, read the papers, talk to friends. We are the exception to the rule if we believe these reports. It doesn’t take a genius to see how blessed we are.
Even when we aggravate one another (that’s our right as siblings), we have a bottom line. We love one anther. It’s unconditional. We’re stuck together with gorilla glue and there’s no escape. None of you could commit an act so heinous that I would quit loving you. I asked Mom, one time, if she’d love me if I killed somebody. Her answer was an emphatic, “Of course I would, but I’d be mad as hell you’d done something that stupid!” That’s unconditional in a nutshell.
I try not to take this gift for granted. All of you have been there for me. I’ve never faced adversity without backup. We’re a well rehearsed ensemble troupe. We all have roles to play in our “life drama” and all of us step up to perform our parts without doubt or hesitation. In 1984, after the removal of my first tumor, Mom and Dad and Neanne, and I were getting into the elevator at the Medical Tower building. We were on our way to Dr. Kyser’s office to hear what my treatment would be. Just as we started to step in, Buddy came through the door and announced, “Circle the wagons! I see Indians!” Can it be any plainer than that? I have thousands of examples and anecdotes that illustrate this reaction to a threat of danger. Our solidarity as a family is our legacy and that legacy is a gift from Mom and Dad. Our unity is no accident. They modeled a lifestyle that didn’t allow anger or negativity to fester. That’s not to say that we have lived a life of “goodness and light” 100% of the time. No one can do that, it’s unrealistic. Instead, when strife reared its ugly head, we dealt with it. No one can hash, rehash, and analyze a topic like a Simmons kid. Mom and Dad allowed for individual differences in each of us, even when we bewildered them with some of our decisions. And somehow, they were able to meld us into a formidable and unshakable union. Good, bad, or indifferent, our circle remains unbroken.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Smart Vacation Plans
My neighbor is doing a cool thing. She and her daughter and grandchildren are spending their vacation at home. Why is this cool? Because we live in a resort town and don't take advantage of what's here. People come to Hot Springs from all over the country. They play on our lakes, visit our theme park, tour downtown, and pour money into our economy.
I think Denise's plan is a stroke of genius. The grandkids are little so they're going to have fun whatever they do. They don't care if they're in Hot Springs or Florida. As long as they can swim and feed alligators it's all the same to them. Monday they spent the day at the Lake DeGray Beach. Tuesday they went to Magic Springs. They have something planned for everyday, just like you would if you were in an unfamiliar town.
Their lodging is free because Denise owns the condo. A place like this in Florida would cost a fortune, not to mention the price of gas to travel there. Then there's the high cost of eating out every meal. I'm not saying that this "at home" vacation isn't costing her but it's a long way from what it would be somewhere else.
With the high prices we all face now we'd be smart to follow Denise's example and play in our own yards.
I think Denise's plan is a stroke of genius. The grandkids are little so they're going to have fun whatever they do. They don't care if they're in Hot Springs or Florida. As long as they can swim and feed alligators it's all the same to them. Monday they spent the day at the Lake DeGray Beach. Tuesday they went to Magic Springs. They have something planned for everyday, just like you would if you were in an unfamiliar town.
Their lodging is free because Denise owns the condo. A place like this in Florida would cost a fortune, not to mention the price of gas to travel there. Then there's the high cost of eating out every meal. I'm not saying that this "at home" vacation isn't costing her but it's a long way from what it would be somewhere else.
With the high prices we all face now we'd be smart to follow Denise's example and play in our own yards.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Summer time
It is just too beautiful around here to sit at a computer so this blog has been seriously neglected. The computer can't compete with the lake and the activities. Vacationers, landing by the carload, charge the atmosphere with excitement and anticipation of a good time.
The 3rd and 4th of July there were too many boats on the lake to tempt me. I can ride out there any time I want so I'll wait until after this crazy week of traditional revelry is over to putt out on my SeaDoo. There are plenty of other things to keep me busy. Hot Springs is a fun town and there are still lots of things I haven't done or seen. Maybe I'll make a list and tick them off, one by one.
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