I think I have finally adjusted to unemployment. It took me long enough. But I have to remember that not only did I work, my job was set in a rigid environment. The school day is divided into sections of an hour or 90 minutes. Teachers and kids are conditioned to move at the sound of a nerve shattering bell no less than 12 times a day. Do that for 28 years and you might have trouble free falling through a day too.
I no longer scurry around, keeping myself properly occupied. That's evident by the number of kitty nose prints on my glass storm door and the coffee stains around my chair on the porch. The one constant in my week is the time I volunteer at Garvan Gardens. Otherwise, I am protective of my time. I don't make "set in stone" obligations and don't really like to make plans too far in advance.
Last winter was dreary and I was restless. I was ready to pack it in, ready to move to a bigger place, ready to look for a job. I'll be interested to see if my new skills can get me through the cold weather. My porch is my refuge but the cold drives me inside. Whatever winter brings, I'll be better equipped to deal with it this year.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Have book will travel
My name is Barbara and I'm addicted to audio books. I don't leave home without at least one. I often tuck in a second just in case I've miscalculated my time frame or find myself trapped in heavy traffic. If I'm out and about, listening to my book, I panic when the reader says,"We hope you've enjoyed Listening Libraries' audio book, King Con, written and read by Stephen J. Cannell." I barely pop the last CD out of the player when I'm scrambling to insert disk 1 of a new novel into the slot. I'm a "chain listener!" The last book isn't even cold when I'm starting the next one.
I started seriously taking advantage of audio books when I was taking chemo. My hospital stay lasted several days and happened every other week. Chemo wears you out. It's a tiredness that starts somewhere deep inside and permeates through your entire body. Reading has always been my escape from the real world and chemo is as real as it gets. I just didn't have the stamina or concentration skills necessary to hold and read a book. But, audio books gave me exactly what I needed to distract me and deliver me from mind numbing boredom. I could put a disk in a portable CD player, hook up with headphones, and get lost in a story.
Now, years later, my audio books are my constant companions. I never leave home without one. I check them out of the local library most of the time but sometimes I'll buy one if I'm particularly impressed with it. I own 3 of the Harry Potter books on Cd and my goal is to buy all 7. They're pretty expensive so I don't buy them at once. Jim Dale, a British actor, is the reader on each book and he's captivating. Every character has a quality that makes him unique so you can follow conversations between characters without any confusion as to who is saying what and to whom.
I can listen to a book and do just about anything I want to do. I hate cleaning house but I can insert a good mystery into my CD player, put in my ear buds, and whisk through our little place in no time flat. When I get a wild hair to walk for exercise I do the same thing. I can cover a lot of territory while I'm being entertained by any one of my favorite authors. I used to carry my CD player in a cheap fanny pack around my waist but I've discovered that a certain style of Columbia shorts has the perfect pockets for a CD player. Now I just pack the player in a pocket and I'm good to go. From cleaning the bathroom to making a long drive, I'm never without a good book.
I started seriously taking advantage of audio books when I was taking chemo. My hospital stay lasted several days and happened every other week. Chemo wears you out. It's a tiredness that starts somewhere deep inside and permeates through your entire body. Reading has always been my escape from the real world and chemo is as real as it gets. I just didn't have the stamina or concentration skills necessary to hold and read a book. But, audio books gave me exactly what I needed to distract me and deliver me from mind numbing boredom. I could put a disk in a portable CD player, hook up with headphones, and get lost in a story.
Now, years later, my audio books are my constant companions. I never leave home without one. I check them out of the local library most of the time but sometimes I'll buy one if I'm particularly impressed with it. I own 3 of the Harry Potter books on Cd and my goal is to buy all 7. They're pretty expensive so I don't buy them at once. Jim Dale, a British actor, is the reader on each book and he's captivating. Every character has a quality that makes him unique so you can follow conversations between characters without any confusion as to who is saying what and to whom.
I can listen to a book and do just about anything I want to do. I hate cleaning house but I can insert a good mystery into my CD player, put in my ear buds, and whisk through our little place in no time flat. When I get a wild hair to walk for exercise I do the same thing. I can cover a lot of territory while I'm being entertained by any one of my favorite authors. I used to carry my CD player in a cheap fanny pack around my waist but I've discovered that a certain style of Columbia shorts has the perfect pockets for a CD player. Now I just pack the player in a pocket and I'm good to go. From cleaning the bathroom to making a long drive, I'm never without a good book.
Monday, September 10, 2007
A Gathering
On September 1st my parents celebrated their 68th wedding anniversary. This, in and of itself, is a remarkable feat. Add to that the fact that all five of their children, all eight grandchildren, and both great-grandchildren are alive and healthy. Everyone who is old enough to work is employed. Two of us are retired and another one of us will be soon. No one is in jail or suffering from an addiction. We speak to one another regularly. On top of all that, I think we're all pretty cute and I know we're all funny.
Saturday we all gathered at my youngest brother's home to celebrate Mom and Dad and each other. My sister-in-law can entertain our mob at the drop of a hat. Their house is the most centrally located and has the biggest kitchen. We're a "kitchen" family. I didn't inherit the gene that allows me to work in a kitchen with people surrounding me so I'm in awe of anyone who can prepare a meal for our large group and participate in the conversation while stepping around guests who are underfoot and munching on chips and salsa (home-made). This particular sister-in-law, Susie, has been part of our family since she started dating my brother, Mike, when she was 14 or 15 years old and opens her home to us anytime we feel the need to gather.
My family doesn't say a blessing over these feasts but one or two of us will speak from the heart about what we mean to one another. It's usually Buddy because he's oldest and he's not overly sentimental. We can reflect on our good fortune and give thanks for our bounty without crying.
This year I appointed myself as speaker. Because of my tendency to get nervous and ramble I wrote down what I wanted to tell my family and read it aloud as we stood, shoulder to shoulder, in Susie's kitchen. I have included this open letter to my parents and brothers and sister in this post.
Being retired, I have lots of time to think and what I think about most is us, this family. We’re unique is many ways but we have three distinctions that stand out to me.
1. We are all alive and functioning, some better than others, but without assistance.
2. We mostly like each other.
3. We are in contact with one another on a fairly regular basis.
Watch the news, read the papers, talk to friends. We are the exception to the rule if we believe these reports. It doesn’t take a genius to see how blessed we are.
Even when we aggravate one another (that’s our right as siblings), we have a bottom line. We love one anther. It’s unconditional. We’re stuck together with gorilla glue and there’s no escape. None of you could commit an act so heinous that I would quit loving you. I asked Mom, one time, if she’d love me if I killed somebody. Her answer was an emphatic, “Of course I would, but I’d be mad as hell you’d done something that stupid!” That’s unconditional in a nutshell.
I try not to take this gift for granted. All of you have been there for me. I’ve never faced adversity without backup. We’re a well rehearsed ensemble troupe. We all have roles to play in our “life drama” and all of us step up to perform our parts without doubt or hesitation. In 1984, after the removal of my first tumor, Mom and Dad and Neanne, and I were getting into the elevator at the Medical Tower building. We were on our way to Dr. Kyser’s office to hear what my treatment would be. Just as we started to step in, Buddy came through the door and announced, “Circle the wagons! I see Indians!” Can it be any plainer than that? I have thousands of examples and anecdotes that illustrate this reaction to a threat of danger. Our solidarity as a family is our legacy and that legacy is a gift from Mom and Dad. Our unity is no accident. They modeled a lifestyle that didn’t allow anger or negativity to fester. That’s not to say that we have lived a life of “goodness and light” 100% of the time. No one can do that, it’s unrealistic. Instead, when strife reared its ugly head, we dealt with it. No one can hash, rehash, and analyze a topic like a Simmons kid. Mom and Dad allowed for individual differences in each of us, even when we bewildered them with some of our decisions. And somehow, they were able to meld us into a formidable and unshakable union. Good, bad, or indifferent, our circle remains unbroken.
Saturday we all gathered at my youngest brother's home to celebrate Mom and Dad and each other. My sister-in-law can entertain our mob at the drop of a hat. Their house is the most centrally located and has the biggest kitchen. We're a "kitchen" family. I didn't inherit the gene that allows me to work in a kitchen with people surrounding me so I'm in awe of anyone who can prepare a meal for our large group and participate in the conversation while stepping around guests who are underfoot and munching on chips and salsa (home-made). This particular sister-in-law, Susie, has been part of our family since she started dating my brother, Mike, when she was 14 or 15 years old and opens her home to us anytime we feel the need to gather.
My family doesn't say a blessing over these feasts but one or two of us will speak from the heart about what we mean to one another. It's usually Buddy because he's oldest and he's not overly sentimental. We can reflect on our good fortune and give thanks for our bounty without crying.
This year I appointed myself as speaker. Because of my tendency to get nervous and ramble I wrote down what I wanted to tell my family and read it aloud as we stood, shoulder to shoulder, in Susie's kitchen. I have included this open letter to my parents and brothers and sister in this post.
Being retired, I have lots of time to think and what I think about most is us, this family. We’re unique is many ways but we have three distinctions that stand out to me.
1. We are all alive and functioning, some better than others, but without assistance.
2. We mostly like each other.
3. We are in contact with one another on a fairly regular basis.
Watch the news, read the papers, talk to friends. We are the exception to the rule if we believe these reports. It doesn’t take a genius to see how blessed we are.
Even when we aggravate one another (that’s our right as siblings), we have a bottom line. We love one anther. It’s unconditional. We’re stuck together with gorilla glue and there’s no escape. None of you could commit an act so heinous that I would quit loving you. I asked Mom, one time, if she’d love me if I killed somebody. Her answer was an emphatic, “Of course I would, but I’d be mad as hell you’d done something that stupid!” That’s unconditional in a nutshell.
I try not to take this gift for granted. All of you have been there for me. I’ve never faced adversity without backup. We’re a well rehearsed ensemble troupe. We all have roles to play in our “life drama” and all of us step up to perform our parts without doubt or hesitation. In 1984, after the removal of my first tumor, Mom and Dad and Neanne, and I were getting into the elevator at the Medical Tower building. We were on our way to Dr. Kyser’s office to hear what my treatment would be. Just as we started to step in, Buddy came through the door and announced, “Circle the wagons! I see Indians!” Can it be any plainer than that? I have thousands of examples and anecdotes that illustrate this reaction to a threat of danger. Our solidarity as a family is our legacy and that legacy is a gift from Mom and Dad. Our unity is no accident. They modeled a lifestyle that didn’t allow anger or negativity to fester. That’s not to say that we have lived a life of “goodness and light” 100% of the time. No one can do that, it’s unrealistic. Instead, when strife reared its ugly head, we dealt with it. No one can hash, rehash, and analyze a topic like a Simmons kid. Mom and Dad allowed for individual differences in each of us, even when we bewildered them with some of our decisions. And somehow, they were able to meld us into a formidable and unshakable union. Good, bad, or indifferent, our circle remains unbroken.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Smart Vacation Plans
My neighbor is doing a cool thing. She and her daughter and grandchildren are spending their vacation at home. Why is this cool? Because we live in a resort town and don't take advantage of what's here. People come to Hot Springs from all over the country. They play on our lakes, visit our theme park, tour downtown, and pour money into our economy.
I think Denise's plan is a stroke of genius. The grandkids are little so they're going to have fun whatever they do. They don't care if they're in Hot Springs or Florida. As long as they can swim and feed alligators it's all the same to them. Monday they spent the day at the Lake DeGray Beach. Tuesday they went to Magic Springs. They have something planned for everyday, just like you would if you were in an unfamiliar town.
Their lodging is free because Denise owns the condo. A place like this in Florida would cost a fortune, not to mention the price of gas to travel there. Then there's the high cost of eating out every meal. I'm not saying that this "at home" vacation isn't costing her but it's a long way from what it would be somewhere else.
With the high prices we all face now we'd be smart to follow Denise's example and play in our own yards.
I think Denise's plan is a stroke of genius. The grandkids are little so they're going to have fun whatever they do. They don't care if they're in Hot Springs or Florida. As long as they can swim and feed alligators it's all the same to them. Monday they spent the day at the Lake DeGray Beach. Tuesday they went to Magic Springs. They have something planned for everyday, just like you would if you were in an unfamiliar town.
Their lodging is free because Denise owns the condo. A place like this in Florida would cost a fortune, not to mention the price of gas to travel there. Then there's the high cost of eating out every meal. I'm not saying that this "at home" vacation isn't costing her but it's a long way from what it would be somewhere else.
With the high prices we all face now we'd be smart to follow Denise's example and play in our own yards.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Summer time
It is just too beautiful around here to sit at a computer so this blog has been seriously neglected. The computer can't compete with the lake and the activities. Vacationers, landing by the carload, charge the atmosphere with excitement and anticipation of a good time.
The 3rd and 4th of July there were too many boats on the lake to tempt me. I can ride out there any time I want so I'll wait until after this crazy week of traditional revelry is over to putt out on my SeaDoo. There are plenty of other things to keep me busy. Hot Springs is a fun town and there are still lots of things I haven't done or seen. Maybe I'll make a list and tick them off, one by one.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
I have lots of heroes and people I look up to but some are more "heroic" than others. The couple that tops the list is my mom and dad, Paul and Ginny Simmons. If they've ever wavered, I haven't noticed. I know they're human and subject to the same mistakes we all make but when it comes to raising their family they're always on target.
Mom and Dad have raised 5 kids to adulthood, actually to senior hood; all but one are over 50. They've been married for 68 years and live in the house we moved into in 1961. We all go there on a regular basis because we like their company. Even the grand kids who can drive stop in to visit and take advantage of their homespun wisdom. Now don't get the impression I'm describing Ma and Pa Kettle, far from it. They're modern thinkers who enjoy good company, good scotch, and a good joke. They can discuss world affairs or a grand kid's latest heartbreak. They don't live in the vacuum so many of our elderly citizens retreat to.
Mom and Dad taught us by example. Kids don't always hear what they are told but they always see what's going on and that's the behavior they'll choose to model. Mom was the MOM and Dad was the DAD and we were the KIDS. Everyone knew their parts and the lines never blurred. Mom and Dad worked as a unit, there was no divide and conquer.........ever.
By watching them we learned solidarity, honesty, compassion, and courage. Racial or economic biases weren't tolerated. They gave us room to develop as individuals. We were never pigeonholed or expected to behave the same but we were expected to behave.
I never feared that they would stop loving me just because I did something stupid or made a bad choice. That's what growing up is about. The path from adolescence to adulthood is a minefield and they helped us maneuver through it. When we stepped on a mine and had to deal with the explosion they were there with sympathy, or wisdom, or a just punishment, if that was what was required. We were expected to learn from these errors and avoid them in the future. Sometimes that happened but sometimes we were doomed to take a second run at it. As you'd expect, a second or third run at the same dumb behavior met with different consequences. Mom and Dad are fair people, but impatient with stupidity.
I think they are amazing people, and not just because they are my parents. They set a standard for dignity and independence we'd all do well to follow. I'd be lying if I said I don't worry about Daddy mowing the yard and Mom going up and down the steps but my admiration for their spirit and courage outweigh my anxiety for their safety. As children they never wrapped us in cotton and they trusted us to make sound decisions. Now it's my turn to give them the same respect and trust.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Shoulda, woulda, coulda
There are four words or expressions that send me into orbit. I'll bet you agree. They are:
1. WHY didn't you .............?
2. You SHOULD .................
3. Here's what you NEED to do.
4. IF I had...............
When used under certain sets of circumstances these four unfinished sentences can make me spontaneously combust. It's not because I'm a sensitive shrinking violet. In fact, it's quite the opposite. We are all guilty of this at one time or another but that doesn't make it less annoying.
First off, if I don't ask what I SHOULD do, I probably don't want your input. Let's say it's cold outside and I'm barefoot. I know I SHOULD put on shoes but if you aren't my Mama, mind your own business. Maybe I like the way the cold grass tickles my toes.
In that same vein, if I'm barefoot outside and I step on a bee or a sticker, don't ask me WHY I didn't have on my shoes. I just didn't, okay? I made the decision to go shoeless and now I'll pay the consequences. You asking me WHY won't change anything.
Don't tell me what I NEED to do, about anything! I probably know that I NEED to do whatever it is, but don't want to. If it isn't threatening my health or yours don't worry about it. Even little kids know what things they NEED to do to survive. A mature adult with many life experiences doesn't want to hear, "You really NEED to drink the spring water from the fountain downtown." This might be true and I might come to that conclusion on my own, but in the mean time, leave it alone.
Then there is IF. I do not like the word IF. Those two little letters can and have toppled governments and families. IF I had bet on horse A instead of horse B I wouldn't have lost the money. IF I hadn't lost I would have won. IF I hadn't changed my bet I would be rich.
On the other hand, IF is an important word, a word that alerts us to consequences. "IF I don't get to the airport I'll miss the plane." "IF I walk into moving traffic I will be killed by a speeding motorist."
Listen to yourself. Try not to be one of the "shoulda, woulda, coulda people."
1. WHY didn't you .............?
2. You SHOULD .................
3. Here's what you NEED to do.
4. IF I had...............
When used under certain sets of circumstances these four unfinished sentences can make me spontaneously combust. It's not because I'm a sensitive shrinking violet. In fact, it's quite the opposite. We are all guilty of this at one time or another but that doesn't make it less annoying.
First off, if I don't ask what I SHOULD do, I probably don't want your input. Let's say it's cold outside and I'm barefoot. I know I SHOULD put on shoes but if you aren't my Mama, mind your own business. Maybe I like the way the cold grass tickles my toes.
In that same vein, if I'm barefoot outside and I step on a bee or a sticker, don't ask me WHY I didn't have on my shoes. I just didn't, okay? I made the decision to go shoeless and now I'll pay the consequences. You asking me WHY won't change anything.
Don't tell me what I NEED to do, about anything! I probably know that I NEED to do whatever it is, but don't want to. If it isn't threatening my health or yours don't worry about it. Even little kids know what things they NEED to do to survive. A mature adult with many life experiences doesn't want to hear, "You really NEED to drink the spring water from the fountain downtown." This might be true and I might come to that conclusion on my own, but in the mean time, leave it alone.
Then there is IF. I do not like the word IF. Those two little letters can and have toppled governments and families. IF I had bet on horse A instead of horse B I wouldn't have lost the money. IF I hadn't lost I would have won. IF I hadn't changed my bet I would be rich.
On the other hand, IF is an important word, a word that alerts us to consequences. "IF I don't get to the airport I'll miss the plane." "IF I walk into moving traffic I will be killed by a speeding motorist."
Listen to yourself. Try not to be one of the "shoulda, woulda, coulda people."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)